In my last post, about having a baby (more like living with a baby), a friend commented and asked me what I feared whilst pregnant. So, I thought I’d make another list!
1. You fear for your safety, but at the same time feel solid as a rock.
Naturally, your instinct will be to protect yourself, of course. This, I think, heightens when you’re pregnant. You worry about something prodding your belly. About people targetting you for a mugging or something because you can’t run away fast enough or because you’re more likely to do what they want because you want to protect your child. Or you worry about tripping, because you’re clumsy anyway, and hey! your sense of space is off because you’re not used to so much girthage. BUT, at the same time you feel almost…invincible. I don’t know if that’s the right word. Personally, I felt right. Like, this is the perfect place for me right now, and I am a ‘goddess’. Seriously. You feel golden.
2. You fear childbirth, the pain–sure, but more about shitting the bed whilst doing it.
Ok, this is self-explanatory. But let me say, which most women will tell you, you do not care at all when you’re in the middle of it. So many people saw my who-ha and me just at my WORST, but I didn’t care AT ALL. I could barely see straight. Believe me, when you’re in the middle of childbirth, you’re thinking about other stuff.
3. Towards D-Day, you start to think ‘What the hell did I sign up for?’.
Again, I think this is natural. It’s akin to performance anxiety–will I be a good parent? What’s labour going to feel like? Will my baby be ok? All those questions come to the fore, and you start to freak out a bit.
4. You really worry that something will be wrong with your baby before it’s even born.
They give you pamphlets, usually before you’re second big screening, that list pretty much everything and anything that can be wrong with your baby. Including that he or she could be born without the top of their head. For realsies. This is NOT what you want to hear. You can’t worry about this stuff, but you will. At every screening, and for days before hand.
5. You worry about having a miscarriage or stillbirth.
This is almost a taboo subject. And even writing this makes me cringe or want to cry. It’s the darker side of the above, you will worry–pretty much throughout your pregnancy–about the possibilty of miscarriage. It does happen. And it’s heartbreaking. But like so many scary things in life, you just can’t think about them. You’ll go insane. The thing to remember is that the statistics they give you take into account miscarriages that occur before the 4 week mark. Miscarriage is tragic at any point in a pregnancy, but before 4 weeks, many women don’t even know they’re pregnant. However, in this modern age, with pregnancy tests telling giving you a plus or a minus even days before your period’s due, it makes pregnancy at the forefront of many of our minds.
6. It’s a bit selfish, but you worry that your body will never be the same.
Whether it’s the additional inches on your ass, the criss-crossing red marks on your now flabby stomach, or the weird state of your bajingo–you worry about ‘bouncing back’. Me–I’ve always had a bad body image–so this was a concern for me, I’m not gonna lie. But your pregnant body—is awesome. Like I said before, I felt so right. And I LOVED my tummy. I felt tired and encumbered at times, but I adored that big, but pert belly. It’s the post-game that’s a bit of a bitch.